Might As Well Face It…
April 3rd – April 9th , 2005
We are moving into the final week of Pisces and this is going to be an intense one.
You might be feeling a strong burst of fire, which brings with it a burning desire to do new and different things. Take advantage of this extra-boost in the cosmos. Renew your goals, be extravagant, and rule your life—it’s the only one you’ve got.
However, as we are still under the influence of Pisces, be careful not to let your emotions get the best of you. There is the tendency this week to sink into loneliness and to act impulsively.
And try not to fall ‘in love’ this week—you might get hurt.
With our emotions running the ship the next seven days, it is particularly hard to tell the difference between real love and being ‘in love.’
When we are ‘in love’ we are more tied into our emotions, our fantasies, our needs. And though that initial rush of new love intoxicates us, it can blind us to the deeper treasures that true love wants to give us.
The kabbalists explain that when we experience true love with another person, we are achieving oneness. We reach a state of consciousness where we feel their pain as if it were happening to us. Ultimately, we can experience the divine when we are involved in such a relationship.
As with everything in life, reaching such a state takes time, effort, and a degree of pain. Without pain, you can be certain that the love is illusionary, for it is only through the pain of growing with a person that the Light is injected into the relationship.
Unfortunately, we are under the influence of our ego, so our inclination is to look for the quick fix. Instead of creating a healthy partnership, we develop an addiction.
We hear the word addiction and we associate it with drugs, alcohol, food or gambling. But yes, we can also become addicted to people, to relationships—and to love.
Addiction happens whenever our happiness is dependent on an outside source.
Think of how many times you have felt you couldn’t live without a particular friend, or family member, or someone you were dating. Perhaps you couldn’t stand the thought of losing her, of having to give him up. And haven’t you had times when it seemed impossible to get through a situation without a sister or a best friend? You needed them in order to feel capable and complete.
When our self-worth becomes entangled in what they think of us, how they see us, how we feel when we are with or without them, we’ve made the other person the cause and left ourselves to be the effect. Before long, we are searching everywhere for that exchange of energy, that high, until—boom!—it explodes in our face.
Addiction is not to be confused with affection. Having affection for someone—wishing that person happiness, or wishing them to be free from suffering—is a wonderful thing, providing there is no agenda attached. This is what we are striving for: unconditional love and compassion. With affection, we do not feel as if our very existence is tangled up with another’s.
Addiction, on the other hand, is like glue. We feel useless without that special person. We can feel as if there is no point to our lives without them. And while relationships are vital and necessary, relying on them or on anything other than you and your ability to generate the Light is futile.
The test to determine whether or not your love and affection is genuine is to ask yourself, “If I had to let this person go, could I? And would I survive?”
It is a basic principle of spirituality that the second you are OK with not having something is the second you are ready to get it. Have you ever experienced this? A situation where you were desperate for something but, after enough craving and driving yourself nuts, you finally dropped it? And then, not a day or a week or a month later, the very thing you were torturing yourself over plopped right into your lap? If you have experienced this, hold onto this lesson.
Do your spiritual work - practice the law of restriction, sharing out of your comfort zone, scanning Zohar, meditating with the 72 Names - and let the Light do the rest. It is written in the Zohar ‘make me an opening the size of the eye of a needle.’ What does this mean?
It means that when you use switch your obsessive nature from worrying about yourself to helping others, the Light will bring you exactly what you need, when you need it.
And this week I would like to ask you to do me a favor. Print out the 72 Name below and stare at it for 20 minutes every day. Carve out a sacred time of the day, a time that is just for you, and allow yourself to watch how your mind works. Notice how difficult it is to sit still and to keep your eyes focused. Notice how crazy the Opponent gets when you pin him down. And notice how he eventually calms down and allows the real you to bubble to the surface.
All the Best,
Yehuda
P.S. It is important for you to understand that reaching out to friends and family for help is healthy. The only thing to keep in mind is that deep down, you have all the comfort and certainty you need. It is within you. Remember this when times get tough and you think you can’t handle the situation by yourself. You can handle it. And you will.