Jacob’s battle with the negative angel was the battle with his own ego. We read about the fight between the negative angel and Jacob. We know everything has a physical and a supernal, non-physical manifestation. It says that Jacob found himself at night, alone, and he battled with this angel until sunrise. We know, as the Zohar explains, this wasn’t a physical battle–it was a fight of consciousness between Jacob and his own ego.

What was happening here, what Jacob feared the most, was beginning to happen. Jacob’s ego came to him and asked, “How many people are as connected as you? How many people know as much as you?” This battle we read in the Torah is not a battle of physicality, but a battle of consciousness. It was the battle of Jacob with his own ego.

Jacob feared both the darkness and the blindness of the ego. As Jacob is finally able to defeat the angel of the ego, Jacob asks the angel, “Tell me what your name is.” The angel says to Jacob, “Why do you ask my name?” That’s basically the end of the story.

Why did Jacob ask the angel’s name?

Kabbalists ask two questions: Why was it so important for Jacob to know the name of the angel? What difference does it make if it’s Paul or John? And second, after this all night battle, why did Jacob say tell me your name? Then the angel says,”Why do you ask my name?”

The Kabbalists explain that the angel answered Jacob’s questions. Jacob didn’t want to know his name so he could call him. We know the person’s name is a reflection of their essence. And that’s why it’s important to have the right name to connect us to our soul. It’s the essence.

Jacob was asking of the angel, what is your essence, what is your power? He was asking the angel how do you win all the time? How do you keep the whole world blind to their ego?

The answer was just live, continue on, don’t look too deeply into why and how you do things. That is the essence of the negative side. This is the essence of the power of the ego.

When we allow ourselves to get upset, and simply go on to the next thing, when we do not delve deeper and ask what is it that allows me to speak in this way toward people around me, to act with lack of human dignity to anybody, this is the power of the ego.

Once we begin to stop ourselves and ask these questions, we begin to take control of the ego. And the ego doesn’t want us to ask questions. The ego wants us to have thoughts of jealousy or anger. The ego wants us to act with anger or jealousy, and then go on.

The gift that Jacob extracted after the all-night battle was for every one of us to learn the essence of our darkness, the essence of our blindness. Why are you asking questions? Why are you trying to uncover the depths from which these thoughts emanate?

We can uproot our ego by constantly questioning our actions.

That is the only way we can uproot and take away the hold our ego has on us: ask questions constantly. If I yell at someone, I need to stop and realize the gravity. Not of the action. The guy at work that I yelled at might have forgotten it by now. For me, it’s deeper, more important than that. What is the source of that anger? What allowed me to act in such a way?

Only when we ask those questions do we have the ability to not become Esau. If you looked at, listened to, and spent time with Esau, he could seem like the most spiritual person you could meet. But he was rotten, hollow, dark from the inside. Why? Because he did not stop and ask the questions.

Every single time we act with anger, we have to stop. Not because I hurt the other person. He might have forgotten about it. But for me, I have to ask why I allowed myself to act like that. I have to ask myself, from where does that darkness emanate?

We can only uproot it if we take this gift Jacob gave to us, revealing the one tool our ego used to keep us dark, even when we think we are Light. That is the power of the negative side: Don’t ask questions, don’t stop, just continue on.

What is our only hope of not becoming like Esau?

If we truly understand the fear Jacob had, and hopefully every one of us now has, we can begin to battle our own ego. Even as we look at ourselves, we cannot truly see the truth, what is happening deep inside. What is the only hope we have to truly become unblind to our ego, to not be like Esau, who was Light outside but not inside? To stop ourselves every single time we act with anger, with lack of human dignity toward another person. To stop ourselves every time we aren’t sharing. We have to take the time to think about it.

From what darkness within me does it come out? Not because I care about the other person, but because I care deeply about myself. If I allow myself to do the actions of ego, and don’t stop and delve inside and find their source, and thereby remove them, there is no way we will not become like Esau.

Again, Esau did everything right. He made all the connections, studied all the wisdom. But because he didn’t stop himself, he became hollow from the inside.

The gift Jacob gives us is to tell us we cannot continue not stopping ourselves. If I react, I have to stop and think about it and change it.

Again, we stop ourselves not because of hurting the other person, but because of something deeper. I know if I allowed myself to act with lack of human dignity, with anger, with anything that is not respect toward another person, if there is anything within me that I react to, I have to stop and think about it and change it.