We are in the middle of the three weeks, the period from the 17th of Tammuz to the 9th of Av. The Apte Rebbe asks why do we read this portion during these three weeks, which are called the yemei bein hamyitzarim? All the greatest connections of the year, the greatest holidays, those times when the greatest Light is revealed, are spoken about in this reading. There is certainly a reason for this. Why on this Shabbat, occurring during the darkest of the weeks of the year, during these three weeks, why do we read about the holidays at this time? He writes, the 21 days, the three weeks that occur between the 17th of Tammuz and the 9th of Av, these weeks we are now in, they are the seeds. They hold within them all of the Light of the entire year. Therefore, they hold within all the Light for the greatest connections of the year.

If you count all the holidays, the greatest connections – Shabbat, Rosh Chodesh, the seven days of Pesach, Shavuot, Rosh Hashanah (2 days), Yom Kippur, the eight days of Sukkot – if you count them all together, it’s 21. These 21 days have within them the Light of the entire year. They have the greatest Light of the entire year because they are the seed. The Light that comes from these 21 days, the Light which comes from these three weeks, is the highest Light of the days of the year to come.

This Light that is contained in these 21 days is the Light that will be revealed in the Final Correction. We know within the greatest darkness, and now it makes more sense, is the greatest Light.

The 9th of Av is the one day of the year the Zohar says belongs to the negative side. The Tet, the number 9, the head of the Tet goes back into its body. To let us know that the great Light of Tisha B’Av, the great Light of this darkest day of the year, is concealed within it. The culmination of the 21 days, the 9th of Av, the Apte Rebbe is telling us, is the seeds of the greatest Light. This day is the seed of the Light of the Redemption that will bring about the end of the pain and suffering in this world. When humanity as a whole transforms and reveals the Light of the Final Correction, the 9th of Av will be the most joyous day of the year. This day has within it the greatest Light.

It goes on to explain that these 21 days are tremendously positive, tremendously full of Light. Because we, every single one of us, and the world collectively, still have not transformed, we are not ready for this great Light. Therefore, the Light remains concealed within this shell of tremendous darkness.

When we merit, when humanity as a whole merits, and we transform our selfishness into the Desire to Share, then will be revealed the great Light. And then we will be ready to receive the great Light that is within these 21 days. And then these 21 days will be full of so much Light and joy that we cannot even begin to appreciate them. And the 9th of Av, currently the most negative day of the year, will be the highest and most powerful holiday and connection.

That’s why we read Pinchas during these three weeks. From this Shabbat comes all the Light for the year. The highest connections we make throughout the year, those 21 days, the seed is found this Shabbat. This is the highest connection of the year.

Why are they called the yemei bein hamyitzarim? To understand, we need to understand a lesson from Rav Ashlag. This is in the introduction to the Ten Luminous Emanations. He quotes a verse from Amos.

Amos says to all those people, and many of us are probably, unfortunately, included, to those of you yearning for the Light of God, why are you waiting for that Light? For you it will be darkness and not Light.

Rav Ashlag uses a parable from the Midrash. The chicken and the bat were sitting at night and waiting for sunrise. The chicken turns to the bat and says, I’m waiting for the morning. In the morning the light comes out and I can see things. But you, the bat, work better at night. The light of the sun does not help you. What is the purpose of you waiting for the light of the day?

Rav Ashlag says this is the way we can understand the way most of us experience life. It all comes to a simple lesson that nobody understands. If we did understand the lesson we would transform.

The Desire to Receive for the Self-Alone — which permeates so much of what we do, which is so much of our personality, which separates us from the Light — that much most of us know. What Rav Ashlag is telling us here, not only do our actions of the Desire to Receive for the Self-Alone, our selfishness, separate us from the Light of the Creator, but those actions also make it so we cannot receive the Light of the Creator.

As long as our vessel, as long as what makes us happy is related to the Desire to Receive for the Self-Alone, then anything not related to the Desire to Receive for the Self-Alone will not give us joy. And rather, it will make us uncomfortable.

You can have one of two vessels. We can only have one vessel. We can have the vessel of the Desire to Receive for the Self-Alone, which most of us still work with, or the vessel of the Desire to Share, a vessel that receives joy in actions of sharing.

As long as we are of the vessel of the Desire to Receive for the Self-Alone, the Light we receive from the positive actions we do is limited. Within that being, within the vessel of the Desire to Receive for the Self-Alone, the Light is not Light. Within that vessel, the Light is darkness.

Imagine, and this is a simple example, I give you a million dollars, but all you can do is give it away. (Some in the war room groaned.) For most people that’s not a happy day. If they could keep it they would be happy. Why? Because our joy, our fulfillment, is dependent on the vessel of the Desire to Receive for the Self-Alone. As long as that is true, the Light cannot come to us. Not because God is angry with us, but because we cannot receive it. Maybe it doesn’t cause pain, but it causes us to be uncomfortable.

Those of us who are spiritual, we do actions to reveal the Light. One of the greatest things the Creator can do is not give us that Light. Too often the Light we receive from the actions we do will make us uncomfortable. If we are not working to transform, we can work all day to receive the Light, but that Light, as it says in Amos, will be darkness and not Light.

Too often we can look at our path in Kabbalah. We do actions, looking for what we will get. This works for children. We say, you clean up your room and you will get a piece of cake. For us, true revelation of the Light cannot occur within the vessel we have.

Kabbalah is not simply about doing good things. We can do good things, and reveal Light. But most of that Light we cannot receive because our vessel is not ready for it. As long as we have not transformed, yes, the Creator will give us a little bit of Light, because Light has to manifest. Unfortunately maybe, in the vessel of the Desire to Receive for the Self-Alone. The true Light, thankfully, cannot come to us. It will make us uncomfortable. When we transform, then we can receive that true Light of the Creator.

These 21 days are dark because our experience of them has been dark. Why? Because we are working within the vessel of the Desire to Receive for the Self-Alone. A vessel that is controlled by the Desire to Receive for the Self-Alone cannot experience the true Light that is within these 21 days. That’s why for humanity, still, for most of us, these 21 days are darkness.

Moshe Rabeinu and Rabbi Shimon say this Shabbat is the time for revelation of these types of secrets. Very often, I can see that today I can reveal more Light and be happier. Pinchas is not that kind of Shabbat. To really receive the Light that is available today, there is a tremendous amount of work, and a big decision we need to make.

This Shabbat is the Desire to Receive in order to Share, the Desire of a true vessel. The first thing we have to accept, to know, is that we cannot reveal the Light of this Shabbat in the vessel of the Desire to Receive for the Self-Alone. That Light is darkness. In order to truly reveal, to receive for ourselves and for the world, the tremendous Light that is available, we have to decide we are no longer going to be satisfied with filling the Desire to Receive for the Self-Alone vessel. To reveal the ultimate Light of these 3 weeks, the time at which pain and suffering can truly be removed from this world, we have to understand we cannot simply do good things. There has to be core transformation.

We have to ask ourselves, what makes us happy, what makes us fulfilled? As long as it is still the ego, then we are still within the vessel that cannot receive this great Light. If we really want to accept this work, we need to understand that we can no longer just want to do actions that reveal Light. We need to want to transform ourselves, to only have the vessel of the Desire to Share. Once that transformation is made, and it is a process, once it’s made then these days are full of Light, and what was previously dark is Light.

Anytime we have darkness in our life, like these 21 days, the greater the darkness the greater the Light. How do we reveal that Light? Only when we transform. When our vessel is of the Desire to Receive in Order to Share.

It’s for everyone of us to do the work. And to make the decision. It’s a big difference from saying, I’ll do more actions that will reveal Light. That’s a path that will not be able to reveal the Light of this Shabbat. That’s a path that will not reveal the Final Correction for ourselves and for the world. To reveal the Light of the Final Correction, our vessel needs to change completely. To reveal the Light of the Final Correction, our Desire to Receive for the Self-Alone needs to completely change into the Desire to Share. Only when we decide to make that transformation can the Light of these three weeks truly become revealed within us for ourselves and for the world.

I hope it is easy to understand. But to do it is a truly life-changing decision. We are deciding to no longer be just spiritual. We can no longer divide our life into who I am and what I do. As long as I do that, my core essence is still the Desire to Receive for the Self-Alone. As the chicken said to the bat, don’t wait for the Light then.

If we want to receive and reveal the tremendous Light that is in these 3 weeks, then everything we do must be for one reason. Everything we do must be of the vessel of the Desire to Share. Then that transformation can transform all darkness to Light. The only reason we experience feeling uncomfortable is because the Light is trying to come into the vessel. If you want to receive this great Light that you are feeling as darkness, you have to truly transform.