(From a lecture I gave this weekend)

In this week’s Parashah, there’s an interesting discussion, actually an argument between Moshe and Aaron. This is actually the mid-point of the whole Torah, and we know it’s a very significant point, the Central Column.

In this section, it says there is a specific sacrifice. This whole week’s portion deals with the 8th day, the day the Tabernacle, the Mishkan, was being set up for usage. There was a tremendous union created on this day between Zeir Anpin and Malchut.

One of the sacrifices brought was by Aaron and his children. Moshe wanted to know what happened to this sacrifice. Moshe kept on asking and asking about it. He was adamant about finding out exactly what happened. He found out it was burnt.

Moshe got very upset at the two remaining sons of Aaron. It says the way they technically went about the eating of the sacrifice upset Moses. He thought it should have been done in a different way. In the way the Torah writes, this was not a simple disagreement. After Moshe got upset, Aaron said to Moses, “You are wrong, Moshe. Moses you are wrong. The way they did it, and the way I did it with them, is the right way to do it.”

Then it says Moshe heard what Aaron said and he was happy with it.

Just so we are clear here, Moses wanted to find out what happened. He was upset, thinking it was the wrong way to do it. Aaron said it was the right way. Moses heard what Aaron had to say and was happy with the answer.

The great commentator, Rashi, writes that Moses was not embarrassed to say, “Aaron you are right.” Moses was not afraid to say that God told him the way Aaron did it was right, but he forgot.

It’s very important to understand exactly what Moses’ response was. He said, “You are right. I did hear it once and forgot it. I thought it was the wrong way.”

This is a very important point, where Moses admits to having heard this and then forgetting it. There is a great deal made out of Moses admitting this. Moses sent out people throughout the whole nation to let them know what happened. He said to tell everybody what happened, that Moses thought Aaron was wrong, but he was right and Moses had forgotten.

The commentators speak about why this story was so important, and why was it important for Moses to send people out to tell others. For most of us, if we make mistakes, it’s a good day if we admit them. Most of us would not send people out to tell others we had made a mistake.

Moses was on a very high level, a very evolved soul. It doesn’t seem it should have been that difficult for him to tell the truth.

As we read throughout the Torah, Moses was the channel through which the whole Light of the Torah was revealed. And here he was, upset with the children of Aaron, and then Aaron said, Moses you are wrong. Then Moses admitted his mistake.

Before Moses admitted his mistake, he had to think about it. There are two ways to get out of this situation. He could have said he had not heard it, but he told the truth. If he had a problem remembering things, it was a big problem. The whole thing stems from Moses’ revelation on Mt. Sinai. The first two were told to everybody, but the last eight were told only to Moses by God and he repeated them to the people.

There is a good reason not to be completely honest. If Moses tells people he forgot, they could then question if all the other things Moses told them were correct. Maybe he heard and then forgot them. It could have completely uprooted the people’s trust in Moses.

It’s important to compare this story to another story. I realized this yesterday as I was reading. It’s a very exciting lesson to me. Moses was told by God to speak to a specific rock. The people were complaining, as they often did, and they wanted water. God said to speak to this rock and it would bring them water.

Moses chose a different rock and hit it. Moses said to himself: If I tell them this is the rock, they will say, ‘Moses, you chose this rock because you know it has water. Why not choose the rock we choose and we can see if you can make a miracle.’

In that case, we see that Moses changed the word of God. He decided what he thought was the better thing to do. And we can find places where a righteous person can decide the better thing to do if he thinks it can help other people.

Back to our story, why did Moses change his mind and tell the truth in the story with Aaron, even though it could uproot the trust in the Torah, in the Creator? In this case, unlike the rock, Moses’ ego was involved. Why? In that case, it was about choosing a rock. In this case, it was about making a mistake. Did he remember and then forget?

He thought, “Is my ego is involved? Is there any selfishness involved? If there is, I have to make the opposite decision.” Rabbi Moses Luzzato says our ego makes us think our mind makes the decision, but 99% of the time it’s our ego. Our mind finds the reasons for what our ego wants us to do, which warps our whole life. Our mind tells us it’s not because of our ego that we have to tell someone he did a wrong thing, or that we can’t admit a mistake.

Every day in our lives we make decisions from our ego. But our ego is so smart it convinces us it’s the right thing to do. Moses is teaching us here that if you ever have a doubt about whether it is the right or wrong thing to do, find where you ego is. Wherever your ego is, do the exact opposite.

This is a tremendous lesson in all areas of our life, in every interaction we have. This is the key. Most of us, if we had found ourselves in the same situation as Moses, would have done the wrong thing. Not because we wanted to do the wrong thing, but because we didn’t take the time to think about what the real reason was behind what we wanted to do.

There are two lessons here. One, if you have a doubt, find your ego and do the exact opposite. The second is to take the time to figure things out. Unfortunately, if we don’t, we will do the wrong things and think they are the right things. They will be based on the Desire to Receive for the Self-Alone.

Every time we have an argument and get upset at somebody else, or we want to say something we think someone needs to hear, or before we take action, we have to ask: What is the real reason behind what I want to do? If we consistently take the time to figure out what is behind our decisions, we will have the ability to make the right decisions. The right decision is the opposite of the Desire to Receive for the Self-Alone.

If we don’t take the time to figure it out, we will live our lives thinking our mind is telling us the right things to do, but it is really based on the Desire to Receive for the Self-Alone.

On this Parashah, we get the energy to start thinking. Think back to yesterday. What did you do that was reactive? Did you handle a situation in that specific way because you thought it was the right thing to do? Or was your ego involved?

What Moses tells us is to first figure things out. Take the time to find out why we are angry, why we are reactive. Once we realize it is from the ego, from the Desire to Receive for the Self-Alone, do the exact opposite.

Moses here had a tremendous reason not to tell the complete truth. If he told the truth, it could uproot the whole basis of the Torah, the basis of everything he said in his life. But he said no, there might be 101 good reasons why I should make that decision, but if there is one speck of my ego involved in that decision, I have to do the exact opposite. If there are 101 good reasons why you should react in a particular way, find the ego. If you do find the speck of ego, then you have to do the opposite.

This is the decision Moses made: It might uproot everything I have done, but I cannot do an action that strengthens my ego. Every time he made a decision, he thought about it. If he found a speck of ego, he ran the other way. This is for the small times, the daily decisions we make. We can really internalize this message, this understanding, and find out why we want to say what we want to say, why we want to act in this way. Ask, “Is my ego involved in any way?” If the answer is yes, run in the opposite direction.